I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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