I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
do nipples grow back?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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