he thought i was a dude.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
