Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
