my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize