God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
