You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
