"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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