Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
