I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
