i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
