if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize