do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
