Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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