we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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