I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
