a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
