The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
