It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
