It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
