i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
