Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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