So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this hospital has no fireball
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
