wat bout pragnant strippers??
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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