We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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