I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
