Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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