it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
