She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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