@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
