Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
