You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
