I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
