Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
