can we get nightvision for the apartment?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize