I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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