David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
