in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
