i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize