I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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