And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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