You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
