Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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