Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
