When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
