what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Randomize
