The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
