why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
