I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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