Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
