peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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