Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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