Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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