my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
