I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
