I wanna bring you to show and tell
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my being single is dangerous.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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