Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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