When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
