I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we made out on top of his cat.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am midnight drunk by noon
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
