do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
