I can't watch pbs sober anymore
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
