my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
