you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
