Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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