awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
