i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
