I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
