My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
