I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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