Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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